Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
