I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
