Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
