considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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