we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
In America we eat man semen.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
