I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Found the puke drawer
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
