Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
