Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
