I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
