Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
