Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
