It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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