When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
