We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
