I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
