Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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