i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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