Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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