Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
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If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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