eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
