he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
