bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
