Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
