THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
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I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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