Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
