Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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