"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
