Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
17 year olds will be the death of me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
