Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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