I'm eating all of the evidence.
its not stalking. its research.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
