What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
