Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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