You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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