Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
