I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
