HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
