My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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