I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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