So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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