he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
