Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize