Jerry, you need to find god
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
