Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
