i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
