Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
