remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
