so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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