Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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