dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We're too hungover to prance.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
