I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
