worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
me + whiskey = a bad person
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize