I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
