I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
