Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
