all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
