Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
