I seem to have left my pride at pride
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
