sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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