She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize