I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
