They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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