Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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