Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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