Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
